Want to Connect with Gen Z? Invite Them Over for Dinner

ANALYSIS

Gen Z is maturing within an unprecedented culture of media saturation. The entire world, via the internet, is available to them at all times on their smartphones.

And it’s not always a happy place, nor is it one that’s particularly easy to make sense of. As such, their relationship with media, with themselves — and with other people — is complicated in a number of ways we are still realizing.

But what if I told you they, just like us, crave and seek out the advice and consolation of trusted people in their real lives when they’re struggling? What if I told you that most prefer to connect face-to-face rather than through technology?

You might be surprised. After all, the mainstream depiction of Gen Z is often a teen endlessly scrolling on their phone, beset by depression and anxiety, falling slowly away from family and faith.

But that’s not what they’re like at all. According to recent data in The RELATE Project, the majority of Gen Z wants to talk to trusted parents, mentors, and friends when they’re struggling. Gen Z is seeking connection and intentional relationships. They are surprisingly grounded, community-oriented, prayerful, and intentional as a demographic.

Thankfully, breaking down the walls between Gen Z and older generations seems to be something anyone and everyone can do, if they choose. The adolescents interviewed for The RELATE Project were quick to express a desire for authentic, no-fuss dinner-table conversations, recognizing that such an environment lends itself towards engaging in meaningful discussions about life and what’s on their minds. Sharing life and authentic conversations—where both sides listen—also promotes relationship.

That means that any one of us can make a difference in the lives of Gen Z. Any one of us can open our homes to them, welcome them into our families, and invite them to share their lives, struggles, and joys at our side.

So invite them for dinner. Ask them to stay awhile. If we want them to flourish, we must unabashedly fling open the doors of our homes to the younger people in our midst, allowing them access to our dinner table, yes, but most importantly to our experiences, our lived wisdom, our relationship with God, our kindness, our time, and even our challenges.

Why? Because face-to-face interactions in an intimate, authentic setting can be the catalyst for a meaningful, long-term relationship of trust and respect. These relationships provide emerging adults with the tools – and the relationships – they need to thrive now and later on.

Of course, feeding them isn’t the only thing you need to do when they sit down at your table. The most important thing is to listen to them without judgment. They may not always want or even need our advice, but they do need us to actively listen – so be engaged and attentive. A simple “Tell me more,” “Go on,” or “What else?” shows that you are listening and creating space for those at your table to share with ease. Just as Kelly Corrigan advocates in her show Tell Me More, asking thoughtful questions leads to better connections and conversations.

My family made a practice of intentionally sharing our daily highs and lows at dinner. We found that, in doing so, we laid the groundwork for more complicated, personal, probing conversations — conversations that involved community concerns, faith, friendships, sorrows, and the future. These conversations were a tremendous gift to all of us, and I cherish the intimacy and authenticity we shared over those meals.

The kitchen table became a place to share the funny stories of our days, the struggles, and how we saw God showing up in our lives. I think our adult kids still feel safe to come to us now thanks in part to relationships built around the dinner table when they were young.

But this sense of safety, belonging, and trust shouldn’t be limited to our own children or immediate family. It can be extended to every person whose lives we touch, though it may look very different from home to home or from person to person.

You can, for instance, become the available parent or grandparent, the house where all the kids hang out after school, and create a space of hospitality – where all are welcome. Because it’s in those moments of carpooling, dishing out snacks, and opening your home after baseball or dance practice that opportunities arise to express that they are welcome, valued, and cared about — and that they belong.

Carving out time to build authentic relationships with Gen Z matters. They’ve told us they need us. They’ve told us how they need us. So let’s listen.

Dr. Kimberly Nollan is the director of research and evaluation at Young Life.