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Freed from Resentment Toward God

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“I felt like not only was He rejecting me, I felt like He wasn't real. I felt like I hadn't seen God do anything for me. So He's not real. I mean, where is He at?”

Rhoda Diehl grew up as the equivocal “good church girl” and had high expectations of her life being the fairytale she’d always hoped for. However, unexpected heartache began chipping away at her young faith starting at age 16. That’s when she learned her mother had breast cancer. “I didn’t know if my mom was going to live or die. It was hard…seeing my young, beautiful mom just fight to live.” Though her mother’s cancer then went into remission with treatment, this experience had already launched Rhoda onto an unraveling journey of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness.

At 19, she married her childhood sweetheart. It was far from the fairy tale marriage of her dreams and quickly ended in divorce, but not before the birth of her first child. Now as a new mother with an infant, left feeling alone and rejected by her divorce, Rhoda concluded that her faith was useless. She began smoking cigarettes and drinking. She became a chain smoker as she realized that the nicotine calmed her down more than her medication.

“I trusted that God was going to heal (my first) marriage and put us back together, and it didn’t happen. I blamed God…I was like I’m going to do a different route now…I’m going to go out with guys that don’t go to church now.” She did this to spite God because she felt like He didn’t answer her prayers concerning her first marriage. 

Since her first marriage with a Christian guy didn’t work, she chose a non-Christian to marry next. However shortly after the wedding, her second marriage also experienced significant issues that led towards its eventual demise --- but not before her second child was born. By 25 she was divorced again, but now with two children by two different ex-husbands. The feelings of shame and rejection began to intensify.

She hit rock bottom in 2006 at age 27 when her mother died from the breast cancer that had swiftly returned. Rhoda was devastated when her mother passed away. “She was everything to me…she was my provider…she was my friend…she was like a mother to my children…I was broken into a million gazillion pieces.”

Her parents’ home was then sold, leaving Rhoda and her two kids homeless. She went on welfare and shuffled between the homes of her three brothers. Her breaking point came about a year after her mother’s death. She was nearly 28 and driving to her brother’s house one night. When she pulled into the driveway, she looked in the rearview mirror at the big Tupperware box on the backseat that held all their belongings. “The car was literally our home…I started to cry and weep, and I cried out to Jesus at that point…I was sitting in my car. I began to say the sinner’s prayer. I rededicated my life back to the Lord. I literally felt the Lord just wrap His arms over me…I felt his love…I felt a peace that a beer bottle couldn’t give me…a peace that a cigarette or my anxiety medicine…couldn’t give me.”

Rhoda began going to a Spirit filled, Bible teaching church. She had seen her mother often fast and pray in the past. She says, “I began to fast. I began to pray…and the Lord broke down every wall in my life…He healed my heart…and set me free.”

Two bad marriages had made her give up on the thought of ever marrying again --- then she met Troy Diehl, an older, godly, well-established businessman nearly a year later. They married on October 9th, 2009. 

Troy and Rhoda have been happily married for the past 14 years. In all those years, she has never had to worry about financial provision for herself, her own two children, or the three biological children she has with Troy. Today, she (in her word), lives in the house of her dreams with the man of her dreams. (A special aspect to note --- when Rhoda and her children were bouncing from house to house, her 2-year-old daughter used to always tell her she wanted a princess room. When Troy and Rhoda married, her daughter got her pink princess room.)

Rhoda has written a book called, The Jericho Fast. Rhoda says, “That’s how my book got birthed…because…through all that hurt, through all the pain I began to fast; I began to pray.” She began to see incredible results because of her fasting and prayer. Her heart’s desire is to help others fast and pray so that they can have the same miraculous breakthroughs that she has experienced through fasting and prayer. 

“God is able. He can take you from the pit to the palace. He can take you up out of a mess and turn your whole life around. My story shows people that there is a God. And if He can do it for me, He can do it for many others.”

Purchase Rhoda’s book, The Jericho Fast here:

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About The Author

Headshot of Kelly Kane Lewis - 700 Club Producer
Kane Lewis

Kelly Kane Lewis joined CBN as a Features Producer after over 15 years in the Media, Film, and Live Entertainment industry as a producer, director, and as on-camera talent, most recently in the New York City metro region. She served as Associate Media Director for multisite megachurch Christ Church, in Northeast New Jersey where she produced several human impact stories. Kelly’s on-camera hosting talent can be found on such platforms as Lowe’s Home Improvement, Tidewater Community College, and Virginia Tourism. Kelly holds a Master of Arts in Journalism from Regent University and is currently