Dream Reveals God’s Love for New Outlook on Life

“I wanted relief from the pain and hurt of the world. I wanted to remove myself from the struggle and I did get to the point where I ended up being suicidal and wanted to remove myself from this world.” Dylan Hamm was in his first year of college when a tragedy from his past caught up to him. When Dylan was at the impressionable age of 14, his stepbrother, Griffin, unexpectedly died of cardiac arrest.

He recalls, “It just happened so fast that I was totally unprepared, and it sent me into a depression and just greatly affected my emotions and my ability to function.” Until then, Dylan’s family had little to do with religion. Now, all of them turned to God for comfort. They started attending church and soon Dylan asked Jesus into his heart and was baptized. He prayed and read his Bible hoping to understand why his brother had to die. Dylan says, “Being that young I didn’t fully understand everything I was reading. I didn’t know how to handle it. I just felt a gaping hole in my heart, and I didn’t know what to do with it.”

So, he pushed his feelings aside and focused on school and sports, trying to be strong for his family. Everything seemed fine until he went away to college. On his own and in a new environment, Dylan drifted away from God. It was then the pain of his brother’s death resurfaced. This time Dylan turned to drugs for help. He recalls, “The first time I smoked pot I felt very euphoric, I felt like I was removed from my problems. Also, if I was at a party and had cocaine or mushrooms, or acid or anything presented to me, I was game for it and I would dive right in. But then the moment that that immediate high or temporary high went away I was faced with my reality again, that pain still in my heart. I was using it to cover my emotional pain. I was too weak to face it on my own and I needed to have something in my system to entertain myself and make it better.”

As he tried to process his brother’s death, Dylan grew angry at God. He says, “I didn’t understand why He would take my brother at such a young age. I would still pray, and I would still try to get in contact with God, but I would feel like there was a barrier between me and Him. And like I wasn’t getting access or any responses back. I just was very angry at Him and fighting. I was fighting God in my mind.”

His sophomore year Dylan transferred to a college closer to home. By now, he had fallen into a deep depression, plagued by feelings of guilt for being the one who lived. He says, “I was thinking that I’m such a burden to my family and maybe they’d be better if I wasn’t here anymore. I didn’t want to live this conflicted life anymore and I either needed an answer or I wanted it all to end.” 

Then, in early 2017 Dylan’s dad invited him to a weekly Bible study. Desperate to change, Dylan agreed to go. He says, “I sensed that he genuinely just wanted to help me and that this is what was helping him. And if this was what was helping him, that maybe I should give it a try.”

After the third meeting, Dylan says he felt even worse, and was ready to end his life unless God gave him a sign that he was real. That night Dylan had a dream. He recalls, “I ended up in this heavenly space. And I was in line, and there was somebody in front of me who moved to the side and then I glided forward to them. And it wasn’t God, but I just felt an embrace and I heard this voice say, ‘Hey Bud,’ it was the voice of my grandfather, who had also previously passed. And all he did was give me a big hug. And with that hug I felt more love than I had felt in my whole life."

The next day Dylan repented for his sins and rededicated his life to God. He says, “That was the moment that I decided to turn my whole entire life around and turn it all over to God and finally submit it all. And even though I had done wrong I could tell that it was forgiven. And because of that love, and that forgiveness, and that sacrificial love I just knew there’s no way I could continue to live life like this.”

That same day Dylan threw his drugs away and never touched them again. He moved back home and worked on growing closer to God. Dylan recalls, “The Lord showed me that my life is not my own and that I was being very selfish in the way I was living all through college. And that everything I was doing was just fulfilling temporary urges. As I gained more knowledge of God and His Word, I felt more relief and security in knowing that my brother’s in Heaven with Him and that he’s actually in a better place than where we are.”

Dylan graduated a year later with a business degree and now works for his father’s company. Today he is happily married and grateful for God’s grace and guidance in his life. He says, “God is always there with you and it’s just a matter of giving – giving your situation over to Him and submitting to what His will is, rather than it being your will and your power. He’s given me the gift of life and even when I didn’t deserve it and was sinful, He’s given me life, and so I feel like I need to live that to the fullest.”