Tony and Jonathan Evans on Keeping Faith When Life Hurts
LOSS TIMES EIGHT
In July of 2019, the Evans family was stunned by what would be the first of eight family member deaths within two years, and the most shocking -- their beloved, 38-year-old niece/cousin, Wynter Pitts.
In addition to being in the prime of her life and good health, Wynter was happily married, and the mother of four young girls. She simply stopped breathing. Priscilla Shirer, the second-oldest of the four siblings, along with her sister Chrystal, the first child born to Tony and Lois Evans, were “best friends” with Wynter, more like sisters than cousins.
Their pain ran deep. “How can we reconcile the kindness of God when He allows such difficult things? What do you do when you are disappointed with God?” she says of her grief at that time. Anthony, having heard the news from Priscilla’s husband on a busy day in Los Angeles, thought, “Suddenly, the L.A. dream didn’t mean much anymore. Life is about family. Family and God. Everything else is just illusion.”
In subsequent months, the Evans' lost a cherished aunt, uncle, grandfather, and Priscilla was told she had a nodule in her lung, which later required removing the upper lobe, all of which culminated with the recurring cancer diagnosis for the family matriarch, Lois Evans.
The whole Evans clan was gathered in California in March 2019, for Tony’s induction into the National Religious Broadcaster’s Hall of Fame. They were all so proud of their father, but could tell that he wasn’t himself. Instead of his usual ebullience, their dad was distracted and somber. After the ceremony, he called them all into his and Lois’ hotel room. “Kids, your mother felt a little knot on her side a couple of weeks ago, so she went to the doctor, and they performed a scan. Her cancer has returned. We’re still believing for a miracle, but medically, there’s nothing they can do,” he told them.
The next following months were like walking through molasses for each of them; a struggle between faith and fear. They all expressed their love for their mom and dad, helped in every way possible, prayed with all their hearts, yet on December 30th of that same year, Lois Evans entered glory.
“Lois and I met when we were eighteen,” Tony remembers. “We were just kids. She became my wife, my lover, my prayer partner, my biggest defender. Lois was my best friend.” Anthony remembers his last moments with his mom. “We said goodbye. Great expectations met with great disappointment. You are never ready to lose a parent. There is no way to prepare. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.”
Chrystal closed her comments at her mother’s celebration service this way: “Her commitment to the Lord and her understanding of legacy was evident in the way she chose to live her life. Tony Evans always brought the Word, but Lois Evans brought the wonder. And because of that, we are blessed by her legacy.”
At that January 6, 2020 service, Priscilla shared how their mother had been in the hospital six weeks prior, looking at all the prayers for her posted on Facebook, and started to cry. “Mom cried not for herself, but for the people of God. She worried that others might waver in their faith and no longer believe that God is who He says He is, and that He can still do everything that He says He can do. So, if there is one thing you can do to honor my mother, it is this: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe that the God of is still who He says He is.”
The youngest Evans sibling, Jonathan, a pastor, speaker, and former NFL fullback, confessed his own struggle with how the Lord had answered their countless prayers for their mother: “So my question, God, is, Where are you? This was an opportunity for us to see Your glory!” He then shared the Lord answered him. “There were always only two answers to your prayers. Either she was going to be healed or she was going to be Healed. Either she was going to live or she was going to Live. She was either going to be with family or she was Going to Be with Family. Victory was assured regardless.”
HOW TO HANDLE DIVINE DISRUPTIONS
In the book’s second half, the authors struggle to answer many of life’s existential questions and, along with the rest of the world, attempt to make sense of the once-in-a-lifetime pandemic. They tie their own family’s loss to the pain families around the world are feeling, positing that a “divine disruption,” on par with a global pandemic, requires a period of “divine rest.”
“When you face these seemingly insurmountable challenges, you have to take time out and really listen to God’s message,” says Tony. “This is just one family’s story, but we hope it will allow other people and families to think deeply and reaffirm their faith in God and the blessings to come.”
Of his own losses and pain, he shares how he’s making it through. “People still need hope and help and honestly, that calling kept me moving forward. In fact, it helped me stay afloat. I firmly believe that serving others is a key to enduring in difficult times. When we minister to the hurting and lost, God ministers to us.”
Referring to the well-known, biblical story of Job, he says, “It’s easy to praise the Lord when all is well and life is good, prayers are answered, miracles are witnessed, victories are won. We get confused about God when the opposite occurs. But God is God in good times and bad. Job went to a whole lot of funerals in a short amount of time, too.”
Chrystal says she looks to God for help through the pain. “I’d be lying if I said I never struggle with God’s decision not to heal my mother on this side of heaven. I do. Often. I’m not in a place of unwavering faith all day, every day. But I believe God knows me deeply and is willing to walk with me, even when I’m feeling my way through.”
A KINGDOM LEGACY
“Divine Disruption” is the first project in the family’s Kingdom Legacy series, a family ministry that pays tribute to their matriarch and her strength, legacy and faithfulness.
Chrystal’s take: “My parents made a decision that the Evans family would live a life that honored God, and they were determined to walk it out in all the small things, day by day, together. That’s kingdom legacy.”
Priscilla explains it by recollecting her mother’s willingness to do anything and everything that the church needed from the start. “She typed bulletins, played piano for worship, and took care of the church’s kids. Whatever needed to be done, Mom did it. Every task she did then prepared her and my Dad to lead the church with integrity and excellence as it grew to astounding numbers.”
Tony adds his perspective on his wife’s life in light of God’s providence. “God chose not to answer my prayer in the way I had hoped. So, I had to hold on to a hope that God in His wisdom, had a greater purpose and plan that could only be fulfilled in this way. Lois and I created a miracle together, just two young kids with a dream and a vision. I had to climb the mountain and lay that dream down before the Lord. The only way you can put a miracle on an altar is to understand the art of surrender. You have to know and believe in the character of God, in His love and commitment for your best, trusting that He knows what He is doing, that He sees a far bigger picture than you can imagine.”
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