Parent-Child Relations

The desire of every parent and child is to find happiness in life and to live in a loving, happy family relationship. However, conflict, rebellion, lack of discipline, confusion and anxiety, often mar the peace and happy relationships that should reign in the family. The Christian who is seeking how to effect "rightness" in relationships is often the one who must first reach out to the other family members.

God's desire is that all should come to a knowledge of the truth, be saved, empowered for life and grow up into the fullness of Christ. This requires self-discipline and the submitting of oneself to others. In the case of children, the submission is first of all to their parents in the Lord. Always, whether parent or child, one is to honor and to prefer the other above self (Romans 12:10CloseRomans 12:10 Love each other with genuine affection,* and take delight in honoring each other. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ).

What Scripture Says

"Be careful to obey all these regulations I am giving you, so that it may always go well with you and your children after you, because you will be doing what is good and right in the eyes of the Lord your God" (Deuteronomy 12:28CloseDeuteronomy 12:28 Be careful to obey all my commands, so that all will go well with you and your children after you, because you will be doing what is good and pleasing to the LORD your God. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ).

"The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him" (Proverbs 20:7CloseProverbs 20:7 The godly walk with integrity;  blessed are their children who follow them. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ).

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' -- which is the first commandment with a promise --' that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth'" (Colossians 3:20CloseColossians 3:20 Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ).

What To Do

Your first need as a parent/child is for salvation and the baptism with the Holy Spirit. Ask Jesus to save you and fill you with His Holy Spirit. As a Spirit-filled Christian who is manifesting the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, meekness, faithfulness, patience and self-control, you will be a better example for the good in the family.

The promise of Acts 16:31CloseActs 16:31 They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household." OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) is that all who believe in Jesus, along with their households, shall be saved. Claim and act upon the assurance of the fulfillment of this promise.

If you are a Christian child in the home of your parents, the same promise applies. In obeying and respecting your parents, you are obeying and respecting the order God has placed in the home. God's promise is that your testimony will work to draw your parents, brothers and sisters to Jesus for salvation. To disobey your parents is to disobey God, and that brings disorder, confusion and anxiety.

As a Christian parent, you must set a Godly example and be responsible for the training and disciplining of your child in the ways of the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:6-7CloseDeuteronomy 6:6-7 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ; Hebrews 12:5-11CloseHebrews 12:5-11 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children?* He said,"My child,* don't make light of the LORD's discipline,  and don't give up when he corrects you. For the LORD disciplines those he loves,  and he punishes each one he accepts as his child."* As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn't discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn't we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?* For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ). In so doing, you are expressing God's love to your children which will bring them to a place of accepting Jesus Christ into their lives.

There are spiritual principles that can make the difference in how God works in your affairs. One principle is to minister praise to God, giving God pre-eminence in all matters and in relationships. When one ministers to God, God ministers in return (I Samuel 2:30b).

Another principle is that of intercession. As you intercede for your children (or parents), be reminded of God's promises to bring about salvation within every member of the family. Thank and praise Him for doing so. An intercessor stands as proxy before God in behalf of the persons for whom he is praying. He also does spiritual warfare against Satan and his wiles (Ephesians 6:12CloseEphesians 6:12 For we* are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ). As you pray in intercession, you bear the burdens of those prayed for. As you bear those burdens, you will have a better understanding of the person(s) which will lead to a greater love for them. Where there is love, relationships get closer and more loving. As love reigns, and as intercession is made, discipline, order in the home, and peace and joy in the family are sure to follow.

As You Pray

Ask God to give you a great love for your children (or parents). Ask Him to help you see all their praiseworthy traits. Ask for ways to bless them, thus building them up by appreciation, rather than criticizing and depreciating them. Thank and praise God for giving you forgiveness toward them and the same to them for you. Thank Him for His love, praising Him in the sure knowledge that He can and will restore relationships between family members.

References/Homework

Philemon -- Relationships restored in Christ.

Isaiah 58 -- Fasting to restore relationships.

Guidance for parents:

Proverbs 13:24CloseProverbs 13:24 Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.  Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ; 19:18; 29:15

Hebrews 12:6-10CloseHebrews 12:6-10 For the LORD disciplines those he loves,  and he punishes each one he accepts as his child."* As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn't discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn't we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?* For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)

Luke 11:11-13CloseLuke 11:11-13 "You fathers—if your children ask* for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him." OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)

Colossians 3:21CloseColossians 3:21 Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)

Ephesians 6:4CloseEphesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)

Guidance for children:

Ephesians 6:1-3CloseEphesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord,* for this is the right thing to do. "Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, "things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth."* OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)

Colossians 3:20CloseColossians 3:20 Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)