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Getting Real with The Pastors' Wives

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To understand their passion, podcast, book, mission, and goals, it’s helpful to know a little more about the three, remarkable millennials. Here are some quick facts about Jessica, Stephanie and Jenna:

•    Have matching tattoos.
•    Occasionally do “Instagram” and TikTok dance parties.
•    Take road trips, eat junk food, and laugh a lot.
•    Would like an occasional Sunday off.
•    Their children can change from cherubs to monsters, creating abject pandemonium.
•    They are from different denominations, and all three have suffered at least one, deep “church hurt.”

Their deep friendship was forged and as much as they cherish their unique friendship, they say ministry and mission will always be their top priority. Their mission is to encourage every pastors’ wife to take off her mask and be her authentic self. They want to dispel stereotypes and myths and help pastors' wives live in their "glass" houses that are sometimes messy and chaotic.

These remarkable women desire to see pastors' wives and women in general, walk with confidence in their gifts and callings. Their broader mission is to educate church members about the needs of their pastors’ wife; her struggles, her stresses, her loneliness, and her sorrows and joys. They see a church under construction without spot or blemish as we become authentic communities of loving, compassionate believers, a place where people find peace, comfort, and salvation in Jesus Christ.  


Despite hard evidence that pastors’ wives needed help, the wise trio had “a gut feeling that there was a great need among pastors’ wives and ministry staff.” Wanting to address those needs, they launched a podcast called, “Pastors’ Wives Tell All.” The podcast took off immediately and their social media presence grew quickly. Before long, they had thousands of followers on all platforms. They concluded their "gut feeling" about the need and their ability to help was from God. Individually, but with complete synergy, they have different goals for the podcast that align with their giftings. The Pastors' Wives want to help pastors' wives and women recognize their great worth in Christ and use their gifts to further the Great Commission.

Jessica is the founder of two nonprofit groups that help the people of Rwanda. Jenna wants to use her internet skills and business expertise to communicate clear messages of truth. Stephanie has made it her mission to find and communicate joy amid “the junk of everyday life.” Their most popular podcasts are “Tattoos and Nose Rings, When Church Hurts,” forging authentic friendships, and how to confront other believers or even the pastor (gasp) in love.

Their new book, Pastors' Wives Tell All, includes similar topics and complex new problems these knowledgeable “Pastors’ Wives” have already experienced. They can offer their experience and ideas for solutions and address the questions about a pastors’ wife’s appearance and presence. They say, “toss the prim and proper” unless it’s genuinely you. "Get a tattoo if you want if it is genuinely you.” They add a cautionary note; “Check your motives and ask yourself if your attire is to draw attention to yourself and your appearance, or to shock or disturb other church members? Make sure it’s just an expression of who you are with moderation your goal.”


A common misconception in the church is that pastors' wives cannot develop close friendships in the church. The "Pastors' Wives” say this is not true. They encourage building relationships in the church because strong relationships build a stronger community. A pastor's wife should look for several people to form deep, intimate friendships. The wrong “friend” can wreak havoc in the church. “Use discernment. The person might be captivating, but are they petty, judgmental, or gossipy? Find out if they are trustworthy and mature. Don’t rule out people who are younger or older, or who come from different backgrounds or cultures. Also, choose friends who might become part of a broader, less intimate circle. The church needs healthy friendships to form healthier communities.”


The book’s target audience is pastors’ wives, yet everyone in the church, from the ministerial staff to members of the congregation could profit from reading it. “The goal of the church is to create a healthy, vibrant place to meet that is loving and authentic; where people can meet Jesus Christ and receive salvation. Leaders and church members are working toward a common goal. We all want healthy churches that draw unbelievers.” 

They caution church members not to place anyone on a pedestal, especially the pastor and his wife. “We are just people who make mistakes too. We need to learn to confront, make amends, and ask for forgiveness and forgive others.” They add, "If you do want to affirm us, praise our honesty, authenticity, or uniqueness.”

A few closing words specifically to pastor’s wives: “Don’t stop serving. Don’t stop caring and loving. Don’t stop doing the work God called you to do. Don’t overserve. Don’t take on more than God is asking you to do. Don’t let the expectations of others drive you. Make time for rest and fun with your family or you will burn out or break down. Be free to laugh, dance, worship, and forgive. Be free to enjoy life and, if you want, even get a tattoo."

Discover everything you need to know about The Pastors' Wives at their website:



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About The Author

Debbie White

Debbie is proud to be a “home grown” 700 Club producer. She gives all the credit for her skills to mentors who are the “best in the biz”, and a company like CBN that invested in developing her talent. Joining CBN as a freshly minted college graduate with a BS in Psychology and the zest of a new Christian, she was eager to learn television. Over the next 20 years, she held many challenging roles, but found her “home” producing testimonies for The 700 Club. Like Eric Liddell as he ran in “Chariots of Fire,” she feels “His pleasure” when she produces one of God’s life-changing stories.