Abuse Victim Finds Healing in Jesus

“And he just, randomly selected, 'Okay, you.' And I pointed at myself like, "Me? Like you're pointing at me?” 
    
Cindy Arevalo remembers the day in the fall of 2004 when substitute teacher, Kip Arnold, came into her 8th grade P.E. class. Cindy was 14-years-old at the time.
    
“And he said, 'Yeah, you.' And so, I get up and he said, 'Hold my coffee.'"

Before long, Kip, or Mr. Arnold as they called him, was hired full time. From the start he made Cindy feel special, asking her to help in class, complimenting her, telling her she was pretty... the opposite of what her parents would say.   
    
“Telling me that I was stupid, that I wouldn't amount to anything in life,” said Cindy. “They would tell me, 'Your teeth are crooked, you're going to need braces. You broke your nose, it's ugly, you're ugly, you're too skinny.'"

Her parents weren’t the only ones Cindy felt didn’t love her. In her mind, God did not either. The idea came from her mom, a legalistic, church-goer who insisted Cindy go to church, or else.  
    
"She would say, 'If not, you're going to go to hell,'" said Cindy. “And, 'You're a bad person. There's the devil in you.' If anything, I didn't want anything to do with church.”

So, at school the young, innocent, naïve teenager continued to enjoy the attention from her teacher. Not knowing he was slowly bringing her under his control. 
    
Cindy said, “He use to tell me, 'You don't know what you want. You don't even know you're not secure about your own thoughts about yourself. Let me think for you. I know what's best for you. And I thought, he's right. I probably should let him think for me.” 
    
Then, one day, it happened. He asked Cindy to go for a ride in his car. She hopped in without question. The destination... a motel where he raped her. 

“I thought, how could I do that to myself? How could I put myself in that situation? How could I listen to him? How could I be so dumb to fall for those lies? I should know better. I blamed myself automatically,” said Cindy. 

Afraid she’d be the one to suffer the consequences, she told no one. “They're going to say I'm sleazy, that I brought this upon myself, and I should have known better than to have gone and met with this man.” 

By high school Cindy was able to avoid Kip, although not entirely. He still had the upper hand, stalking her, calling and texting at all hours of the day. He threatened he’d tell her parents and Cindy’s new boyfriend, Juan, the truth if she didn’t do what he said. So, although less frequent the rapes continued. 

“I felt like I was living a double life and going back to where I felt like I'm the bad person because here's Juan, the man that I love and want to be with, yet I'm keeping such a big, dark secret from him,” said Cindy.

Finally, in Cindy’s junior year, the nightmare came to an end when Cindy destroyed her cell phone. Now 17, she tried her best to get on with her life with Juan. Two years later, Cindy, now 19 and out of school, found out from a friend that Kip was preying on another girl. It was then Cindy decided to tell her story – first to Juan, then to the police. Her testimony would help authorities put Kip Arnold in prison for a long time.

“I feel safer knowing that he's behind bars, that he can't harm anybody else. I am angry hearing him say that he's not guilty.”

Despite the victory, Cindy hadn’t found healing for what had been broken. For years she went to therapy and explored new age philosophy trying to find peace. By 2019, Cindy had married Juan, had 2 children and was leading a successful life. Even then, the pain she thought she’d left behind, still plagued her.  

Cindy said, “We drove the nice cars, lived in a nice place. We have a beautiful family. Business was great. But on the inside, I felt empty. I felt shameful. I felt unworthy. Why do I feel this way if it's been so many years? I can't seem to get over it. I don't understand why."
        
Around that time, they ran into a friend who was a pastor, after catching up for a short time. . . “He simply said, 'Can I pray for you?' He prayed for us. And then he asked, 'Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior?' I said, 'No.' He said, 'Would you like to?'" said Cindy.

“I had tried everything else. Clearly it was not working. And then here comes Jesus. I was so surprised by what I was found with, because I ran away from Christ for so long, because I was afraid that He would judge me,” said Cindy. “He actually met me with His love, with His grace. He comforted me. He wanted me as I was, as broken as I was, I remember I broke down and I cried because I couldn't believe that someone so holy and worthy like Him could want someone like me.”
    
Both Cindy and Juan accepted Christ as their savior and Cindy was able to put the past and pain behind her. Part of that was forgiving Kip Arnold. 

Now raising three girls, Cindy speaks publicly about her experience, seeing herself the way she knows God sees her. “I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am seen, I am heard, I am loved, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

(To read Cindy's memoir, Living in Silence, please visit: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B09JHL6TW9?_encoding=UTF8&node=2656022011&offset=0&pageSize=12&searchAlias=stripbooks&sort=author-sidecar-rank&page=1&langFilter=default#formatSelectorHeader

(To follow Cindy on Instagram, please see her handle@_cindy_arevalo)