In Awe of God

“Jesus, I’m in awe of You tonight.”

These words of praise were filled with gratitude as I gazed at the unfamiliar sparkle on the lake and the crisp azure sky that met it at the horizon. The trees were dressed in a crisp array of greens. Their uniquely shaped knotholes bestowed historic mysteries. My world changed in 30 hours — after wearing glasses for 50 years. Cataract surgery replaced triple vision with a crisp 20/20. I was in awe that I could see like never before — and for answered prayer.

When surgery was over and they wheeled me to recovery, I cried, “I can see!” Five minutes after surgery, even through the fog of a new lens, I could see clear letters on an innocuous sign. At my recheck the next day, the doctor couldn’t believe I already saw better than 20/20. He said, “Only by the power of prayer.” Prayers were indeed answered beyond my wildest expectations.

A blind man named Bartimaeus sat alongside the road and called out to Jesus, “Have mercy on me!” Jesus inquired, “What do you want me to do for you?” Bartimaeus answered, “I want to see” Mark 10:46-52CloseMark 10:46-52 Then they reached Jericho, and as Jesus and his disciples left town, a large crowd followed him. A blind beggar named Bartimaeus (son of Timaeus) was sitting beside the road. When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" "Be quiet!" many of the people yelled at him.  But he only shouted louder, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" When Jesus heard him, he stopped and said, "Tell him to come here."  So they called the blind man. "Cheer up," they said. "Come on, he's calling you!" Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus. "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked.  "My rabbi,*" the blind man said, "I want to see!" And Jesus said to him, "Go, for your faith has healed you." Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.* OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ; Matthew 20:29-33CloseMatthew 20:29-33 As Jesus and the disciples left the town of Jericho, a large crowd followed behind. Two blind men were sitting beside the road. When they heard that Jesus was coming that way, they began shouting, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" "Be quiet!" the crowd yelled at them.  But they only shouted louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" When Jesus heard them, he stopped and called, "What do you want me to do for you?" "Lord," they said, "we want to see!" OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ; Luke 18:41CloseLuke 18:41 "What do you want me to do for you?"  "Lord," he said, "I want to see!" OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) (NIV).

Jesus didn’t ask the blind man, “Why do you want to see?” Instead, He asked what He could do to serve.

Before surgery, the nurse anesthetist asked me, “What do you want me to do for you?” She didn’t ask why I wanted help. She was there to make me comfortable.

Don’t get me wrong — why can be a powerful word. But sometimes my why puts attention on my needs or feelings, rather than on serving God or others.

I know people who didn’t have positive outcomes with cataract surgery and some who have incurable illnesses. I had to make end of life decisions for both my parents. I questioned God, “Why have You given restoration to me and not for them?” This why put emphasis on me, rather than Jesus.

I want to see His desires for me with 20/20 vision, not through a clouded lens. God is teaching me to step beyond the why to get to the what. There is power in the what — Jesus asks me what do I want Him to do for me, and I need to ask Jesus what He wants me to do for Him. Looking for the what gives me renewed eagerness and passion to live out His will for my life.

My physical eyesight is being restored — my spiritual vision is taking new depth. The Holy Spirit is taking me on a journey to discover, “Lord, what can I do for You.” Not why.

I laugh when I recall how often I asked my parents, “Why?” I think youthful and spiritual maturity teaches when to replace why with what.

“Then everyone who has eyes will be able to see the truth, and everyone who has ears will be able to hear it.” Isaiah 32:3-4CloseIsaiah 32:3-4 Then everyone who has eyes will be able to see the truth,  and everyone who has ears will be able to hear it. Even the hotheads will be full of sense and understanding.  Those who stammer will speak out plainly. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) (NLT)

“If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:22CloseMatthew 6:22 "Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) (NIV)

Oh, how I want my spiritual eyes to be open to see Jesus!

Jesus, we're in awe of you. Please replace the clouded lens of our souls with 20/20 vision to do what You want us to do for You, rather than ask You why.

Copyright 2019 Cheryl Crofoot Knapp. Used by permission.